Lightning Crashes

          As usual this is my song of the week and it is call Lightning Crashes. It is by Live. This song is one of... not saddest songs I have heard but it does touch a cord. I love this song so much, but as you all know I say that about every song I put on here. My thinking on putting up the lyric videos is, I do it for those who want to see the lyrics, and for those who don't want to see them, they can just look away for the duration of the song. One of my favorite things about this song though is the guitar rhythm, and how you just can't help but feel it and sway to it. I also love his voice and the emotion you can hear in it.  Like I have said before I look for song with meaning. 

Music Makes the World Go Round

           The reason I have been putting so many music videos on my blog lately, is because music is everyones life in some sort of way; whether they are listening to opposites ends of the spectrum of classical music or rap music, it is in their life. Music is just as much in my life as well. 
          One reason that I show which bands I listen to instead of just talking about it is because I love it when people introduce me to new bands or new songs. I hope to do the same with what I am doing here. Even if you don't like every song you are still opening yourself up to different types of genres that you may not have listened to before. 
           Music is a very therapeutic thing. From what I have observed we listen to it when we are mad, or sad. or we seek songs to explain a situation that we can't comprehend ourselves. We even seek songs that explain situations that we are going through; this makes it seem as though the person singing has been through it as well and we aren't alone. 
          Music is a great thing and the world would be a very bland place without it's rhythm. 

Bury Your Heart

          This is one of my favorite bands for the last few months. Their name is Flyleaf and they have some truly amazing songs if you want my biased opinion. The song that I picked, I picked solely for the reason that I have been listening to it a lot lately. This song is called Bury Your Heart.

Graduation

          It seems that for everyone who is graduating, it is all they can think about and stress about; and I have to admit that I am a part of the pack as well. I am so worried that I won't pass my Statistics class even though I am doing somewhat ok in the class it still has me freaked out. I have all of the worst case scenarios running through my head like what will happen if I don't. I will have to tell everyone that I sent all the graduation announcements out to that I am not; and that will be absolutely humiliating. And we have been working so hard on unpacking the house and fixing it up for having people coming to our house. And then when I think also about how much money my parents have spent already on all of the graduation stuff....But I have a tendency to over stress about things that might not happen. I call it steeling myself for the worst. It's my defense mechanism, so I don't get crushed if things go badly. But so say the least lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed and stressed. 

Feel Free to Comment :P

Never Too Late

          The thing about me is I look for songs that have meaning. I look for songs that either speak to me or that speak about an experience that someone has obviously had in their life time. I very rarely listen to songs just because they have a "sick beat" 8 out of 10 of my song on my Spotify mean something. That doesn't mean that I think badly of people who listen only to songs that have great beats. I am just explaining my decisions in song picking, and how I come about picking my favorites.  I picked this song for this week because it is a song that I listen to when I need a pick me up when life is kick me and hasn't been in my favor for a while. Hope you all enjoy. Here is Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

Feel Free to Share Your Music Experiences. I would love to hear some other opinions. 

Invincible

For some reason this is one of the songs that I love to listen to when I am feeling down. It makes me feel motivated again. Its also a pretty rockin song. So see if you like the song as well because this is my song of the week. :P Oh and sorry about the french translations it was the only lyric video I could find for this song. But without further ado this is Invincible by All Good Things.

Get Your Super ON!

          Ever wanted to be a superhero fanatic, but you have known some who knows everything there is to know about that specific hero and the are known by everyone else as the resident Superman or Batman or Spider Man person and somehow that means that you aren't allowed to. Well I have been in that situation before and to be honest it sucks. This all happened when I first fell in love with Batman and to be perfectly honest I fell in love with Harley Quinn before I fell in love with Bruce. But the person I knew kept holding it over me that they knew more than me about the series. And now being a person who knows a ton about batman, I can say that it's a jerk move to prevent anyone from wanting to join the fandom.
          This goes for any superhero, DC or Marvel. (although DC is better hahahahah). But my advice is to get out there and who care what other people think and like what you like. Who cares if you are labeled a geek, all of this just makes you a more interesting person. Why should you discard something you love in order to be a part of some arbitrary group of people that we have been placed with because of our age. So do what floats your boat, hide it if you feel you need to (I have a lot of hobbies that no one besides my family knows that I do.) Have fun. 

Feel Free to Comment:P

Scotland

          I first heard this song while watching the CW show Reign. It is their theme song called Scotland by the Lumineers. I have no words for how much I love this song it is just so beautiful. Even if you don't like the lyrics you can't deny that these peeps can play their instruments! You just have to give it a listen. Tell me what you think :P

Feeling a Moment

          Do any of you have that song that you have someone listen to that really speaks to you and you want them to feel the song the same way you do. You just sit there and watch them listen to the song and they never seem to feel the same way you do. They may end up liking the song, or loving it; But you end up disappointed. So my solution is to share with you guys one of those songs that I feel. Then there is no pressure in the moment for you to like it just enjoy it. So this song is quite appropriately titled, it is called feeling a moment by feeder. Enjoy! And feel free to comment :P

Charlie Boy

          This is this weeks song. I have loved this song for a long time and its beauty has not faded in my eyes which makes me like it even more. My tendency is to play a song to death; but I can't seem to do that with this song. Most people know the Lumineers from the radio, but no one i have talked to has heard of this song. So I am raising awareness.  This is Charlie Boy by the Lumineers.

Aquarius

          I have decided that I would start posting my favorite song of the week. I have been a fan of this group for about a week now and then while I was watching a show and they had this song in the background and I fell in love with it instantly; not just because I am an Aquarius either. To give you a background on this group they take older songs and do covers of them in a soulful sometime techno version. And without further ado this is Aquarius by Digital Daggers

Loss of Control

          The worst feeling in the entire world is the feeling of having absolutely no control over your body and your emotions. I have a history from earlier this year as most of you might know if you have read my earlier posts of when I was hospitalized for 7 days for depression. Well when I was there they found my golden ticket for making me feel amazing and normal for the first time in a year and half. But then one little thing happens and you get a deadly syndrome and they have to you off of then one thing that has been making you feel like you connect with the people around you. The doctors tell you that you will be ok and then you start to feel like the world is ending and you start to feel like how you did right before you went into to hospital the first time.
          For the past little while the only emotional range I have been able to feel is feeling irritated at the little thing that people do that normally before I would have been able to ignore and wanting to curl up in a ball and cry ro a week and not stop. And I can feel like this at the flip of a coin.  I hate not feel in control of my body anymore. I envy those people who can walk through the store for more than 10 minutes and not feel like they are being surrounded and can't breathe as well as many other effects. All these months I thought I was doing well and that maybe possibly I would be able to come down a little bit off of my anti-depressants but now I know that all that I was feel was the chemical help. And to tell you the truth that makes me depressed. 
          Nights are the worst time for me. I think of the cumulation of all the bad things that happened to ove the day and mix that with how tired I am it all just swirls in my head and it is a cocktail for bad thoughts and I end up dreading the next day because who would want to face a day that was anxiety ridden as the one you just faced. Who wants to face that day to day? For the past couple of days I have actually been contemplating quitting this quarter of school and focusing on my health but at the same time I refuse to give up. I am so close to the end, I have put in so much work to get here and the finish line is within sight and it would be like me just siting down in the middle of the race when I only have 50 more yards to go even though I am having bad chest pains. But ya know what I can finish I can make it the 33 more days and graduate. I will do this. I just wish this hadn't happened now and that this hadn't happened to me again. I don't wan't to feel out of control of my body. 

Feel Free to Comment:P

Old Friends

Old Friends ( Imitation of  Oh, Oh by William Hathaway)

Months of feeling the darkness,

the sinking black hole that won’t let go

I woke up today to the perfect rainy day.

Today I knew I would finally be fine;

I sat outside on the hammock, waiting

I lay there feeling the onslaught of water on my face.

breathing in the cleansing air,

inhaling the scent of the earth beginning new,

dawning new life.

I lay there patiently longing for him.

I enjoy the time I have to myself for the time being,

and then there opposite the yard I glimpse

he, who has been the center of all of my fantasies.

The black hooded figure makes his way towards me,

hand outstretched, I do the same.

He will take me from the pain. He will save me.

Finally answering my cry; Death has arrived.

Sexism

          I am so sick of the constant sexism that I am being surrounded by every day. Its horrifically disgusting to hear people say that "men and women are psychologically different. Its been proven." And yeah when you hear it like that you stop and think; 'wait can it be true are the sexes mentally different?' and the answer is yes there are differences but when looking at it, it doesn't work out in the male genders favor. Once I heard this little thrown out fact, trying to prove that women are weaker mentally than men, I was like a dog with a bone and decided to do a little research. 
          Here is what I found.

Psychology Today
 1)Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Web MD
2)and while you are at it this too.

          And while I could give you more sources that women are just as strong and even slightly stronger than the male brain I do believe that those two sources prove my point just enough. So the next you, any one who reads this decides to make a slur about the opposite sex, do your research and know what you are talking about. An if you really want to check out how strong women really are and how they face adverse situations and still stand tall and all of the thing that women have to go through in countries other than ours, then read  Sex and World Peace  

Feel Free to Comment :P

Gettin' a Little Personal (VII)

        I cannot wait to be done with school. Graduation is approaching and it seems as though it will never be here. 
         Today I received my graduation announcements for MHS and they are all pretty and stuff. Yeah how do you like that language. Sorry I really don't know what to talk about this week and this was the first thing to come to mind. 
         I guess another thing that comes to mind is that it is very difficult finishing up this year when the people around me induce migraines and then make them worse. I understand that this is a condition that I have to deal with but it is also unnecessary for my peers to scream immaturely ALL THE TIME. I am all for having a fun time but you don't have to screech and scream and yell when you are in the middle of class, especially when I and other people are forced to be with you for 2 hours. So just be considerate of the people around you please. 
          I just want to get through the next 2 months and graduate and in order to do that I need to be here at PCR even when I have migraines and that is very difficult.  Its difficult concentrating, and articulating, and not grabbing the next person who talks above a normal Shyann-migraine-day-approved level and smashing their head against the wall a few dozen time so they know the pain that I am feeling at the exact moment. So all I ask is some consideration especially since the migraine I have had this week I have had for 3 days and I can't get it to got away not with my Relpax or my Sumatriptan injections, nothing. So please help me get my education while you are getting yours as well. 

Feel Free to Comment:P

Olan Rogers is a Balm For My Soul

          So if none of you have seen any of Olan Rogers Youtube video... well your life has been a sad meaningless existence. This man is the best story tell in the world.  Just check out this first story. Yes I know he is very immature but sooooo funny that is makes you laugh until it hurts. This specific video I watch whenever I feel low and down in the dumps (hahaha you will get it if you watch it.) this story from Olan Rogers is call the Ghost in the Stalls.

         So now if you liked that video and are like me, once you have discovered Olan you just can't put him down and start to binge watch his amazingly hilarious videos.  This next one that I have supplied for you is called The Package Delivery. Be prepared. 

MUST SEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Olan Roger at Camp! Enjoy the story of him at camp the story of his calves.

Valentines Day candy 

          

Gettin' a Little Personal (VI)

          I have gotten a lot of the same responses to telling people I no longer talk or see my biological mother. This response is "but she is the only woman that gave birth to you". And to tell you the truth that is a very narrow minded point of view. It takes a lot more that an egg and 9 month (or in my case 8) to be a mom. It takes putting forth the effort to continually know your daughter and understand that she changes daily. And as someone who judges without knowing my reasoning you need to know that there is a difference between mom and mother. And for a lot of people, they are one in the same. A mom is someone you can count on; she holds you when you cry, she takes care of you when you are sick. She knows you through and through. Whereas a mother is someone who made you. I have both, but they are two different people and for as long as I can remember they have always been two different people. My mother has never in my memory been a mom.

          So before you judge me and favor and feel bad for the woman you don't know, know this; these are only a few of the many stories that I have. When I was 5 she had me and my sisters stay in our van in January so that her boyfriend could stay in the house because there was a court order that her could not be in the same house as us. Her reasoning was that she said we asked her if we could. My question for you is would you say yes to a 5, 10, and 11 year old, to stay in a van in the middle of January? I hope the answer is no.
          When my parents were going through the initial custody battle my bio mother tried to accuse my dad of abusing be. and the JUDGE stopped her before she could even start and told her "Unless you have some pretty compelling proof, you better drop it." My dad has NEVER laid a hand on me EVER, and she tried to pull that. 

          There was also a time during the custody battle with my parents that I was so badly worked up about not wanting to go with my mother that weekend that my dad was not going to have me for any reason so when she got there (I was around 5 or 6). My dad had a tape recorder going this entire time that she didn't know about when he was talking to her. When she found out I wanted to stay she demanded to see me and tried to guilt me into going with her, but my dad stopped her. She then tried to PHYSICALLY rip me from my dads arms and take me. . And when he rushed me back to the house, my step-mom and grandma were inside to take me so that he could continue to deal with her. But that that didn't seem to stop my "mother" because she tried to barge her way into the house so my step-mom locked the door. I remember bawling so hard and being so scared and my grandma, and my mom holding me (my step-mom is who I consider my mom) and after that outside my dad called the police to get my mother to go away. When they arrived she tried to convince the police that my dad hit her. My dad played the tape for them and could plainly see that he didn't. The police let me stay with my mom and dad that weekend since we had court the next day.  

          Throughout the years my mother frequently would manipulate me and threaten suicide. She would say things like " You don't want to come down this weekend? If you don't want to come down anymore just tell me. Its fine if you don't love me anymore.", "If you don't love me then then there isn't any reason for me to be around any more. No one needs me. Why do I even stay here.". I didn't even realized that this was manipulation until this last year when I went into therapy again and my therapist enlightened me. And after that realization I looked back on all of my experiences with my bio mother and we didn't have and great times and she never took the time to get to know me. We never had a real relationship. It was fake.
          So, in short I am sick of people judging me about cutting a person like this, a person who has made my like worse. Who will I was in the hospital for depression found or that she was a major contributing factor to being pushed over the edge.
          The relationship I had with my mother was toxic. If it were anyone else such as a friend or a boyfriend everyone would be jumping down my throat to get away from such an unhealthy relationship; but since this was my mother most people tell to patch things up and give her another chance, as if I haven't been giving her chance after chance after chance for the last 17 years. So I am much healthier at the moment without her and my plan is to keep her out of my life until the day comes that i think of her and don't absolutely hate her for what she has done; when the day comes that I can think of her one day and genuinely wonder if she is doing well and want to meet with her and start again fresh. 
          I realize that some of you that are reading this may be thinking that she is only human and that she has made some mistakes, but she is an adult she knows right from wrong and her ultimate goal all of these years should have been what was best for me and my sisters. But she wanted to "win" She could see how happy I was with my dad and mom and manipulated me ti come down when I really didn't want to. I wish with all my heart that I didn't think of my own mother like this but thats the way it is and the people around me that have witnessed everything that has happened over the years have seen the same thing. 
          But with all of that I have been lucky to have someone in my life that I have not been related in blood, but that never matter for a minute for her. from them moment I met her her has been a surrogate mom. The fact that she isn't my blood mother hasn't ever mattered to her she views me as her daughter and I view her as my mom. She has been the person who held me while I cried. She was the person who I molded my self after, she has been my role model. My mom was the person who would have lively debates with me. She is the person who can go through a store and know for certain whether or not what she is buying I will like.(And yes this is important because this means she really knows me). She is the one who helped me with my homework, sometimes late into the night. She is the one who edits all of my papers. She is my best friend as well as my mom. I say thanks everyday thats I was able to be raised by someone that could give me the structure when I was little and the friendship when I was older. Its a had balance to maintain to be both a mom and a friend but mine did it.

Harley and Batman in Heaven

This is an assignment that I did for my English class one day. I thought it came out pretty well I hope you think so too. It is modeled after Emily Dickinson and Elvis Presley in Heaven by Hans Ostrom

Batman and Harley Quinn in Heaven

She calls him Brucie, finally caught

up on the identity of the famed Dark Knight.

He calls her Harls, and is constantly amused

with all of her tomfoolery even here.

In heaven Bruce no longer has to mask

himself with his cape and cowl. He now wears his true identity

and emphasizes it with a simple shirt and pants.

No more hiding now that the work is done.

Harley went through many changes

through the years. She dons her classic

black and red slim jumpsuit, carrying her hammer.

She gets up to her best antics in this outfit.

Bruce and Harley take walks in Heaven talking

of old times, of old battles.  She begs for his secrets

to escaping Puddin’s traps. Which he gracefully

slips out of and distracts her.

Harley, up to her timeless tricks, teaches

him a new way to think,

teaches him how to let loose and be free

He plays along and enjoys the unlikely friendship.

Bruce explains how to be honest and fair.

He calms her when she yearns for the Joker.

He puts up with her crazy mood swings.

She comes to enjoy their unlikely friendship.

They know why God make them

roommates. It’s because Gotham was their home;

its because they had a lot to share;

its because they have a lot to learn and laugh with each other.

Sexuality/ Eroticism

          Here in America and for that matter most parts of the world woman are expected to conceal their sexuality; and if they do they are labeled names like "whore", "slut", and so many other nasty names. But on the opposite end; its not surprising to see a man be promiscuous. So my question is what is the differences in the sexes truly? Why is it fair for one to express their sexuality how they like and the other, it then becomes uncouth. The answer is centuries and and centuries of societal influence.
          Now onto eroticism. With the movie 50 Shades of Grey coming out there has been a lot of back lash for the extremist saying that this is the devils kind of sex. If you look on youtube with the trailer of the movie you will find a long list of comment from various religious persons that swear up and down that this is an unhealthy relationship and that this relationship should not be a role model for anyone. The fact is it really isn't. It's and escape. A romance novel with whips. Its something for people to escape they own daily problems  no one is basing their own relationships on this one and if you all of the sudden are changing your life style to accommodate this one you have other problems but that is a very very small percent of the readers and watchers of the story. So theres that. And as for those people that didn't know that there was this type of sexual activity; wow, way to be sheltered. 

Feel Free to Comment:P

Cats and No Not the Musical Mixed with a bit of a Gettin' a Little Personal (V)

          I don't know how many of you out there are cat people but I definitely am. Think what you might but I love my kitties to death. Now I have three cats, but two are more of my parents and the third is definitely mine. She only stays in my part of the house; my bathroom and my bedroom. She doesn't venture out into the other areas of the house. By the way her name is Malia.
          Now as a person who has owned various pets all of her life, I cannot wrap my head around why the "odd" pets are always hardest to adopt at the shelters. These "odd" pets are those that have received injuries over the years: such as lose of limbs, or are over the age of 5 year old, or have unusual coloring. All of these qualities make them unlikable but the general populous and as such unadoptable and they spend month or over a year in humane societies. But these "odd" pets are some of the most sweet and lovable creatures I have met, personally if I could adopt them all I would but I already have a lot of animals.  By the way this is not exclusive to cats when I was writing this I was talk in about dogs and turtles and rabbits as well. 
           I have volunteered at the Humane Society of the Palouse on several occasions and it is really hard looking at the tags on the cages and seeing how long and animal has been there at the shelter without a family. And I am not trying to guilt anyone into adopting an animal, I just want to raise awareness about these other beings that are so intelligent and just want to have a family. So if you are looking for a companion just go stop by you may fall in love with someone there. And if you aren't the Humane Society is alway accepting volunteers to socialize with the animals; because if you think about it they are limited to being in their cages until someone socializes with them and animals such as dogs and cats are very social animals require a lot of attention and so if you find yourself with a little bit  of time to kill sometime and you love animals try it out. It is very fulfilling. 
          My recent addition to my family, Malia. We welcomed her into our family this last summer; she is 8 years old we got her from a friend of a family friend who was moving and to be honest she is my exact copy.  I love that cat to death, and she is attached  to my side. When you first meet her she is very quiet and they slowly she becomes more vocal until you can't get her to shut up. She complains all the time. She is very sassy. She only allow you to be close and affectionate with her when she allows. She doesn't cuddle. By all of these things you would say she sounds like any other cat you have heard of but I have never seen anything her equal. Except me:P. My Mal is just like me and in her almost year with us she has only connected with me, and is only cordial with the other members of my family. She is the first cat that has official been mine and all mine. So with her I am the crazy cat lady hahahaha. 

So You Can Add This to the List of Things to Know About Shyann, she is a Feminist an Animal Rights Activist I Guess

So Be Nice to Your Pets and Feel Free to Comment:P

Gettin' a Little Personal (IV)

         I think no matter who we are, we have a tendency to get caught up in the negative and get stuck there sometimes. So I decided to share a way that my therapist suggested I battle my chronic negative thinking. 
         All you have to do is find a little box. Now what you do is everytime something good happens make sure you write down what happened on that slip of paper and put it in the box. Depending on how frequently you want to look at them you can open the box every week, or month, or every other month, or at the end of the year and remember all of the good things that happened to you. 
        As human beings we have a tendency to focus and rehash and remember the negative and we don't balance that out with focusing, rehashing, and remembering all of the good that happens. We may do it with the extremes like vacations but what about after a long day having someone you love just wrap their arms around you and watch tv. Those thing slip out of head within an instant and I think that those are the things that are worth treasuring. 
        Also remembering to compliment ourselves and remind ourselves that we are worth being loved. and worth people getting to know. No matter how sappy that sounds. 

Be Happy and Feel Free to Comment:P

Gettin' a Little Personal (III)

          In my last weeks post I talked about how for the last few months I have been without any close friends. In all honesty it has been the most peaceful moments of my year. I haven't had to deal with the drama that comes with accidentally offending your best friend and having them be mad at you for several days. I don't have to put up with being insulted and then believe that they were right. I also haven't had to deal with the obligations that come with making sure I hang out with them enough so they don't think that "something is going on". It has truly been peaceful.

           These last few months I haven't been looking to make any connections with people just have fun; but when I say that, at the same time I am not opposed to the idea if that makes sense. From my experiences you meet some of the coolest friends in the weirdest circumstances so I am just going along with the flow not cling to people. 

          A few months back I remembered being so scared at the thought of losing all the friends I was so close to but now with the knowledge that they were not good friends and that I am better off with out them and that I am better off without the drama, it all feels so much better.  But I have one thing to thank of my ex best friend, she helped me realize that I am truly and independent person. I don't need people around me to be whole and for me that is a satisfying thing to know. I now know that when I am on my own I will be fine; but not just fine happy. 

Feel Free to Comment:P

Dropping Out

         It seems that a common topic around here at PCR is dropping out. A lot of people are giving up hope and feeling that the best choice is the real world. All I have to say about that is THIS.

          Is this a decision that you are truly going to be proud of 10 years from now and those of you considering this are going to say "Yeah" but of course you are because you are consumed in the overwhelming odds that you are facing; and yeah you probably think that yeah this is the best decision for me for this year and the next year but WHAT ABOUT 10 YEARS?? In 10 years most of us with have families we will have to provide for and most of us ideally want to have jobs that we enjoy. So why not do the most we can to make sure we can get that far.  Now a job we love doesn't necessarily mean a job that pays a ton or take a ton of schooling but now a days a 4 year college degrees was what a high school degree was 20 years ago. So fight through the seniority, we all have it, we all find this useless at time, but we do it anyways.          
           Instead of looking at the entire block of time you have left just think I just have this period. That's all you have to do. That's what I was told to do when I was going through a hard time and talk to your teachers and tell them what you are feeling and going through they will understand; they will help you out. 

         Your other options are... what? So you probably have a part time job at some fast food joint, with no benefits. Your options are at the best to move in with a few people in a small apartment and then you have to worry about theft and everybody eating the food you have bought for yourself with the money you have worked really hard for; because all of you are broke. Now what happens if one of you become extremely ill all of you become ill because you are in closed quarters. Now the problem with that is you have no insurance. So no antibiotics for any of you guys; hence missed work, no money. Now lets think of what all of think will never happen because we think we are young and our bodies are invincible. You find out that you have some sort of illness that needs to be taken care of right away; surgery right away. then right there you have several thousand dollars in medical bills and a part time job to take care of it and you have to account for recovery time. 

          Now lets talk about cars; being really broke you probably have a beater car, and with beater cars comes malfunctions. Are all of you planning on becoming master mechanic's overnight to fix your  broken down cars and even if you do, there is the expense of paying for the parts, the various fluids, and if you aren't a good mechanic then the expense of paying someone to do it.
          My point is that there are a lot of expenses that as teenagers we take for granted these days. A lot of unplanned expenses happen all of the time that can bankrupt someone. So I think we owe it to ourselves to try and get as far as we can in our education and set goals for yourself, even if you don't reach those goals its important to set them to know what you want and keep striving so you don't say in one place. Your not doing this for anyone else. As hokey as that sounds you need to invest in yourself because there is nothing better to put your efforts toward. 

Holding Hands Down the Highway

        Alright so I bet when you read my header you were probably thinking 'what the heck is she talking about'. "Holding hands down the highway" is something my mom and say to describe drivers that stay side by side in both lanes, instead of using the left to pass the slower right traffic. But alas it seems that the people of Moscow and Pullman don't know this system and don't know that that is what you have to do.

       But there I was today picking my mom up from work after school like everyday and we got behind two sets of couples that wanted to hold hands down the highway. They did this for the majority of the way too; it was actually quite impressive. It kind of reminds me of when you try to stay up in sync with the person next to you on the swing set, on in this case it more of a dominance issue. More of a "Oh no you don't. I won't let you pass me." kind of thing.  
           In all honesty I love it when I see these drivers it makes my day. I root for them when I see them and I root for more cars to join in. All the while I sit back and watch the festivities. So I encourage you to see how many cars groups of cars you can get up to on a four lane highway mine so far is 3 groups of 2 (woot woot). Have fun and be safe!

Feel Free to Comment:P

Gettin' a Little Personal (II)

Disembodied

          For the first time in my life I am completely and utterly without friends. Earlier this school year I split ways from a group of 6 or 7 of my friends with my best friend. All of this happened during a time in my life when... well a really bad time in my life. I went away to a hospital to seek help a week after splitting ways (not because of that) for about a week and when I came back my best friends that was more like a sister than a friend started to treat me differently and hold me at a distance and within that week she got mad at me for no texting her that I wasn't going to be at school that day and stayed mad at me for a month without talking to me and this inevitably resulted in the end of out friendship. 

          After everything that went down was a lot more dramatic than what I am letting on and a lot more happened but frankly I don't want to get into all of the details but I have to tell these ones in order for my story to make sense. So once we went our own ways being at that school became very uncomfortable because not only did I have to avoid my old group of friends but now I had to avoid my ex best friend that seemed to hate me with a firey passion for a reason I still don't know why to this day. School became a place that I hated being at more than anything else and was still required to go. And to make it even worse I was behind in all of my classes and was drowning in makeup work. So now when I look at someone I wonder whats really going on beneath the smile. What pains are they trying to conceal? What are they going through right now that makes life harder for them?

          And even now that I am mostly away from that old environment it helps but is almost worse. Now I am going to two schools but only part time; so I not really a part of either. i miss inside jokes in both, not truly a part of either. Even though the environment at the new school overall is so much more welcoming than the the old. I am still a floater. 

Feel Free to Comment if Your Really Feel Like It :P

Speed Limits

         Alright something I think the general population of Moscow, ID 
needs to know. Right after the stop light by Walmart and Applebees up until the 35 mph sign is still 45 mph from the Moscow-Pullman highway. SO DO IT. 3 out of 4 people are doing 35 on the stretch of road and it frustrates me to no end. If you look the 35 mph sign is lined up with the 45 mph sign for the other lane of traffic so that that all four lanes will be doing the same speed for that whole stretch. So please, please save my sanity and just do the speed limit. 

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